By Vonnie Drudy, MomsBloom Volunteer
I call them Mama-Wanna-Bes. Also known as your mother, mother-in-law, nanny, babysitter, hair stylist, nail tech, lady behind you in the check-out lane at Meijer…you get the picture. They are the ones who start their sentences with “When my kids were babies…” or “Well, I f I were you…” or “Have you ever thought of trying…” Generally speaking, there is zero malice in their intentions and after all, they have been-there-done-that, so why shouldn’t they share their knowledge, right?
In response to these do-gooders, I have learned to appreciate the subtlety of what I call the SAN technique (Smile And Nod). Oh, please do not confuse this with condescension, but rather think of it as a way for those who wish to voice their opinions, or share their experiences, to have their moment in the sun, while you practice the SAN technique, taking in what makes sense to you and letting the rest go.
As new moms, we are starving for information. Who, what, where, when, why, how…YES, YES, YES! The temptation is to become a sponge and soak up every drop of Mama-Wanna-Bes’ advice; but what about our own instincts? No one has more questions than a new mom, I mean you are solely responsible for this adorable, drooling, babbling, bundle of joy and it is as scary as it is exhilarating. We can learn to strengthen our own intuition and flex it like a muscle.
But between the Facebook posts, Mommy blogs and What to Expect While You’re (fill in the blank) books, you may feel more nauseous than you did in your first trimester!
Here is some good advice I was once given:
- Find a Mommy-Mentor – the Mommy you most admire and whose advice you already trust
- Find a great Pediatrician – the kind where you can hear the smiles in the nurse’s voice when you call to ask about whether peaches or pears would be best to start with
- Trust your instincts – you know your baby best and you know when there is one more burp left in him or if she hasn’t wet enough diapers today
It has just occurred to me that I may be a considered a Mama-Wanna-Be just by writing this post. So if you found yourself reading this with either a smile or a nod or both….don’t worry, I’m not offended.
*Vonnie Drudy is a Sales Operations/Marketing Analyst for Verizon by day and a freelance writer and MomsBloom volunteer by night. Vonnie’s hobbies include reading, movies, decorating and yoga. Her favorite part of volunteering with MomsBloom is connecting with moms and snuggling with babies, all while waiting for her two college kids to text her back.