Testimonial: Carrie Kolehouse

“This is going to get so much easier.” These simple words from a home visitor gave me just enough hope to take action when in the darkest depths of my postpartum depression.

She was a complete stranger - sent by a breastfeeding advocacy organization. And because she was a complete stranger I told her the absolute truth about how I was feeling.

To my friends and family, I felt I needed to portray an image of “having it together” and thriving as a mother, especially since my pregnancy had been unplanned. My pride wouldn’t allow me to admit how difficult the transition to motherhood truly was, and how scary my thoughts and feelings had become.

But when this petite red-headed breastfeeding advocate sat on my couch, the truth came pouring out of me: “This is so hard. I have no idea what I’m doing. I feel like I’ve lost my mind. It feels like my life is over. I think about the most awful things sometimes.” She didn’t bat an eye. I expected her to call and report me to someone. Instead she said, “I understand. And Carrie, this is going to get so much easier.”

Next we talked about how it sounded like I was suffering from postpartum depression, and I needed to call my doctor. She didn’t act alarmed, judgmental, or even traditionally sympathetic. She acted as if this is a common complication from childbirth that I needed to get addressed so I could feel better.

I did get help. And with the help of treatment, I did feel better, and eventually formed a strong and loving bond with my son - a gift I am so very grateful for now.

When I came across the MomsBloom page on Facebook, I immediately thought of the home visitor whose words had such an impact on me. “I want to give that gift to someone else!” I thought. I started volunteering for MomsBloom, and a passion blossomed within me for helping the organization to grow. I joined committees, fundraised, and eventually joined the board. In 2019, I made a career change and became MomsBloom’s Executive Director - a dream that had lived in my heart for almost a decade.

Now I have the opportunity to help connect moms with a home visitor who can be that non-judgmental listening ear, helping hand, and voice of hope. It’s been the most fulfilling work of my life, and has helped me to heal from my own difficult postpartum experience.

I wish I remembered that blessed woman’s name so that I could find her and tell her, “Thank you. It did get easier. And a lot more meaningful as well.”

-Carrie Kolehouse